AuDHD Artistic Creator

We can change our reality

I respect and embrace all perspectives, beliefs, and feelings, and in no way belittle, diminish, or disregard the perspectives, beliefs, and feelings of others. These beliefs are my own, and I share them freely. Take what resonates.Have you ever felt like you lived two days in one? You could of sworn that morning was actually yesterday, before something dramatic, or subtle happened to you?Infinite fragments, layers, and identities of us die every millisecond. Some deaths are profound and unmissable, while others are quiet, humble rewrites in our coding, changing something forever, within us, while we casually sip our tea.Like you, I've died so many times! In my latest big death, that I'm aware of, I had the honour of a final catalyst from an oppressor, a neighbour, whose presence in my life represented and mirrored the energy of my biggest oppressor this lifetime, a birth sibling. This neighbour, or teacher, pushed me into finally letting go of the most harmful illusions I carried with me. And she continues to teach me.She, and many before her, taught me that I was unknowingly beckoning that birth sibling back into my life, again and again, until I learn how to solve this puzzle that was driving me insane since near birth...

Questioning
The Mainframe

I obsessively repeated the age old questions of "why me?", and "what did I do to deserve this?", looping feelings of being "cursed" or "unlucky".The only one "cursing" ourselves... is ourselves. Curses don't exist, unless you believe in them. We forget just how powerful we are as manifestors; what we allow creates our unique realities.The fact that I was questioning (no matter how long those questions feeded into my inconclusive insanity), meant that I was doing the right thing. I evidently really wanted to find answers, and understand my microcosm and the macrocosm.My intention to learn was right, but no one gives us a manual when we get here, so where do we start?The answer is always... within.Not looking for external manuals, or some saviour to hold our hand through the dark; but the bravery to close your eyes and face that inner dark, and then... ask your questions.Paradoxically, there is infinite wisdom to learn from everyone around us. We can do the research, find our philosophical tribes, but the real work comes from within, when we integrate those teachings, and find our own unique wisdoms.

Growing up, Philosophy and Spirituality guided me through a world that felt so utterly alone, harsh, and unsupportive. They were always as integral as the skin on my body, the marrow in my bones, the beating of my heart; in fact, more important than all three.Buddhism was my jam at 16 years of age, and I seem to have returned to it within the last couple days (May 30th, 2026). On the Buddhist Dharma Wheel, awareness is considered the engine, and the foundational step in journeying towards Enlightenment (Bodhi), Liberation (Nirvana), and the Cessation of Suffering (Dirodha).Awareness has always been integral for me. I always wanted to know that, when comes my time to return to Gaia and the cosmos, I would have treated everyone, myself, and everything with the utmost respect and grace as I am currently possible to obtain at that time.The Tao is everything. It is the flow of the cosmos, the dance of light and dark, and the acceptance of dark and light as integral elements in reality; and no explanation can fully describe it. The goal is to tap into the Tao; to stand in the center of it, regardless of whether your life is expressing chaos or peace.Quantum philosophy fully integrated with me within the last couple years. This was the missing piece of my sacred puzzle. It expressed, for me, just how multidimensional we are, and that we are allowed to be contradictory because, we existing is literally a paradox, and so is everything else. Furthermore, Quantum reminded me that everything has it's rightful place in existence, including past versions of us that we commonly try so hard to run away from.These philosophies, as well as many more, including Hinduism, Paganism, Ancient Egyptian spirituality, and my own philosophical and spiritual epiphanies, have all had a part to play in my current lifetime, and multiple past lives, co-creating the ever-changing scaffolding on the soul that I am today.

Life A

We die, and are reborn, time and time again. Every day is another birth; every Moon illuminates another death. It is in our nature.However, this lifetime of mine, so far, has expressed itself in two distinct main sagas... Life A, and Life B.My Life A chapters mainly consisted of these illusions, which were learnt, repeated, recycled:

I thought I was carrying my own lonely darkness, but was unaware I was carrying the lonely darkness of my ancestors.Behaviours, patterns, mistakes, passed down from generation to generation.My parents are navigating that same void within themselves. And so did my grand parents, and great grand parents, and so on.We all told ourselves we were broken, and that no one should know, or could ever understand, what we carried within.Little did we know, literally everyone navigates that same void! Because the void is an essential part of our ecosystem, within and without.That void is the shadow aspect of us, the dark side of the Moon. And boy, is it beautiful.

Life B

Now, my perspective has switched into the exact opposite. Like becoming the reversed reflection in the looking glass.I'm not scared anymore, because I know everything in the Multiverse is perfectly designed. Even scary, "bad" things have their place in the cosmos, and in our souls progression.That's not to say I don't experience occasional fear. But now I know, when I dip into fear, it's my shadow self wanting to communicate with me about something I am avoiding, or not noticing. This is always an opportunity for shadow work, which basically means sovereign therapy.Not only am I not weak, but I'm also allowed to feel fragile and sensitive sometimes, especially learning that I'm Autistic. I can get sensationally overwhelmed, which is natural, and nothing to be ashamed of. Plus, my highly sensory constitution is one of my greatest gifts; it means I pick up on many things others miss.

I don't attract bullies, harm, or betrayal anymore, because I don't expect them. The way I carry myself energetically is different, now that I don't care so much about how others perceive me. And if someone spikey crosses my path, I know their spikes are their own, not mine.We are all mirrors, reflecting each other. So, when someone hurts or judges us, it's simply a reflection of their inner world, and the hurt and judgements that were brought to them.I now trust in the natural way we all shift in expressions of confusion, happiness, jealousy, kindness, etc. I do not take others mistakes personally, when they are just a manifestation of what is going on inside.It's okay that people can deceive and hurt. No one needs to be "perfect". We are all complex beings of light and dark, and people need to face their darkness to fully learn their light. And it's no reflection on our personal value or "luck".The way we succeed, in someone hurting us, is in our awareness of how we respond and integrate someone deceiving or hurting us.

Do we internalise their projection, or do we remind ourselves that we are living in a matrix? Everything we perceive is not as it seems.Only will we "not amount to anything", if we believe this to be true. We are profoundly, infinitely capable of more than we could ever comprehend."Unlovable", and "everyone would be happier if I wasn't born" are two of the biggest lies many have told ourselves.Again, we couldn't fathom just how loved, wanted, and needed we are in the cosmos, by the Tao, by Gaia, by Jesus / Buddha, by Source / God / Allah / Jah / Gitche Manitou / the Universe / Multiverse, etc.Even if we are currently experience life of utter loneliness, we are loved so dearly by our loved ones on the other side; and that's not just blood relatives. Our family is infinitely bigger than we could ever imagine! And they don't care what we've done or haven't done. All they want is for us to find our happiness.

• A Single Rose (Radio Version) - Made in 2016 - Click for purchase or stream

• From A To B (Album) - Made in 2016 - Click for purchase or stream